Entry
by Let my dragons roar
Summary: Writing down your emotions can be quite helpful when dealing with a sudden lose. Modern!AU. Hiccup's perspective. Possible Hiccstrid later on. Please read and review OvO.
1. June 2nd

_**Sunday, June, 2**__**nd**__**.**_

_My therapist told me to start a journal because I have, and I quote, 'unresolved issues'. I think she's just tired of me not opening up, I don't blame her though, we've already had 3 sessions and I've done very little talking. Besides the sarcastic comments, she says their my defense mechanism – Obviously._

_I think she wants to read this later on, so she doesn't have to wait for me to open up. If that is her intention, i guess I don't have to bother opening up._

_So I guess I should start huh? Okay:_

_My dad hasn't been around lately, I think he's sorting things out with the house and the whole leg situation. He said he would get me the best prosthetic built, but I don't know if I'm strong enough to learn to walk again: Losing your leg is quite exhausting._

_Gobber has been seeing me a lot lately though, he often comes to the hospital with bag of greasy fast food. He manage to sneak in some burgers and fries yesterday and we had lunch, but I was sort of woozy on painkillers, so sadly I don't remember what we talked about._

_Astrid is taking care of Toothless for me, I just think she's feeling sorry for what happened. It wasn't her fault, but she says she should have done something but I don't think she could have. She likes to take pictures of Toothless and Stormfly together and send them to me when she gets out of school, so at least I know he's okay: I'm still surprise the useless cat hasn't eaten the damn bird yet!_

_Snotlout came to visit me too, a few days again I think, with his dad. Spitelout stood near the door and Snotlout just sat in the chair by my bed and stared at the empty space where my leg was. Thankfully I was in a lot of pain that day, so they upped my morphine and I was barely awake so I hardly noticed the awkward tension. Snotlout feels guilty I bet, I'm not too sure why though, he wasn't there until they put out the fire, but by then I was already on my way to hospital. I think he's guilty about the whole 'calling me useless' thing._

_Speaking of the fire, Gobber mentioned that it disturbed most of the house, including my room, but I thought that was obvious. Anyways, I asked him if there was anything to salvage and he made mentioned that he found a couple of my books, Toothless' cat toy, and a picture of mom, but that was it. I was pretty down about that, but I guess I should be lucky that I didn't, you know, die and all._

_I'm getting a little tired from the morphine so I think I'll end this now before I say something regrettable in my half-drugged state._

_-Hiccup._

**I was a little bored so I just wrote this up, I'm trying to get myself back into my writing so I might put another part, I dunno. Lol.**

**~LMDR**


	2. June 6th

_**June 6th**__**,**_

_Dad came back this morning, but he looked pretty terrible. He told me he's having problems with insurance and work, but then he apologized and hugged me. I guess he felt pretty guilty about not visiting me too often. Gobber came in halfway through dad's visit and I was pretty grateful because I didn't really feel like talking about my stump-leg while my dad tried not to tear up. Gobber brought over some pizza and dad got a little mad because I should be eating the food gives to me. He was so distracted by scolding Gobber he didn't notice me eating the pizza until I finished my second slice._

_Hospital food is terrible._

_Gobber asked me how I was feeling and I could honestly say I'm okay. I think it's weird how well I'm taking this whole leg thing. I mean I got pretty upset about it when I woke up, all I wanted to do was go back home and never leave my room. But now I think I'm okay, at least I think so._

_Dad gave in after a while about the whole pizza thing and then sat down by my bed side, and Gobber sat on my opposite side. Me and him eat pizza while dad fussed over me. It was quite nice actually, being together, like a weird makeshift family_

_Gobber had to leave after an a while because of some work down at the shop so it was just me and dad for a while, watching TV and talking about normal things and advoiding the important things. My Doctor came in later on to check my burns. I had almost forgotten about the ones on my face since I didn't have a mirror on hand, but I wasn't too worried since I only have a few moderate size ones on my cheeks and forehead. Apparently they're healing good, but I would probably not have any scar tissue. Dad seemed relived, because more than one horrible reminder of what happened would be too much._

_Dad left when his insurance called and I could hear him yelling at his phone as he made his way down the hallway. I'm glad dad left to be honest because that's when the nurse came in to help me bathe, and I would have died right there and then if dad stayed._

**I wrote up another part cause why not ouo**

**Thank you to Guest and One Bright Light ^^**


	3. June 9th

_**June 9**__**th,**_

_Astrid came over today with her school bag and sport bag and had a huge smile on her face. I was kinda groggy when she walked in, a nurse (who I guessed was new) had just come in and checked my leg but accidentally tugged on some of my stitches so they drugged me up to ease the arching, so I didn't know why she looked so excited, but then she told me what day it was and i knew why she was so bubbly. It was the last day of school._

_I always sort of liked the very last day of school because we didn't actually do anything educational, everyone was always in a happy mood. Astrid and Fishlegs would often hang out with me in the lessons we shared, so I was a little disappointed I didn't get to join in with the last day of school excitement._

_Astrid dumped all of her things on the floor and curled up on the chair next to me and grinned and told me all about what happened in school. Apparently the Twins did something to Snotlout and almost had their necks snapped and Fishlegs did something clumsy that made everyone laugh during lunch. I just laid there pretending like I was listening. Morphine can really scatter your mind._

_I paid attention when she started asking me questions; at first it was what I did that morning, but she winced when she realized I couldn't even leave my bed. She then asked me how I was feeling and if I was okay and stuff like that. I shrugged and told her I was fine, since I was hardly ever sober most of the time. She gave a little laugh but it didn't sound genuine. We sat in silence for a while, see kept staring at me and I was glancing at the TV in the top corner of my room where the news was playing._

"_Local news has been talking about you" I was taken aback by that._

_Apparently they were, or had; after the fire local news had been playing shaky youtube videos and pictures as they talked about 'The major and his son'. They even had pictures of me, and talked about my stump leg. I was a pity case apparently. I laughed – the entire situation was so odd to my unclear mind._

_Astrid overlooked it and turned the channel of the television to some cartoons and we watched it together in a comfortable silence. When a nurse came in with a tray Astrid moves onto my bed and she picks at my dinner, curious about what it tasted like. She gives a chocolate bar that she was given by one of her teachers when she and I eat it happily._

_She told me that Tuffnut wanted to know if morphine is like being on weed since I'm acting pretty calm all the time, I shrug because I've never been high on anything before. Maybe?_

_I fall asleep at some point, leaning against Astrid, and when I wake up she was gone, my food was still on my little hospital table and the TV was playing a rerun of friends but I didn't pay much attention. I laid in bed until the sun started coming up again, and the room turned orange like it was on fire and the nurses and doctors were coming back to work._

_I pretended to be asleep when a nurse poked her head through my door because I didn't feel like explaining how I was feeling, the medication I was on was working fine. When she left I turned onto my side as best I could and reached out for my phone. I had a few texts, one from Astrid explaining when she left. One from my dad telling me he was coming to see me later on. And Tuffnut texted me too, asking me if I could still feel my foot even though it was gone, and if I was going to get a robot foot now._

_I replied with numb fingers before I left my phone fall by my side and sighed, turning back to the TV, and watched trashy sitcoms until the nurses came to give me my breakfast._

_Got to love that slimy oatmeal._

_**It's a Thursday so that means it's the weekend! I get to finish school early today and I think I'm finally getting back into my other stories so hopefully more updates ^^ (hopefully)**_

_**Thank you to **__**midnightsky0612**__**, Guest and One bright light!**_

_**~LMDR**_


	4. June 12th

_**June **__**12**__**th**__**,**_

_Dad had told me that Toothless had gotten a bit burnt up in the fire, and had started to chew off what was left of his fur. The vet had said he was in distress and he had to wear a cone until his burns started to heal. I felt bad for Toothless but luckily Astrid had offered to look after him while my dad worked, so at least I knew he was getting the fuss he deserved._

_I hadn't seen him after the fire, only a few pictures sent from Astrid kept me updated, but today Astrid surprised me by sneaking him in. I was so grateful to see him after a night of tossing and turning, leg burning up._

_It was during lunch and I was playing around with my alphabet soup when Astrid suddenly burst in and slammed the door, looking gleeful and wearing an over-sized thick sweater. The moment the door was shut Astrid reached under her sweater and pulled out Toothless._

_The poor cat had a little pathetic cone around his bald, scabby neck and he was flailing in Astrid's hands, hissing. Astrid tossed him onto my bed and started complaining about all the scratches she was bound to have but I was too excited to see Toothless._

_I reached forward and grabbed hold of him, pulling him to my chest and cuddled him. He practically melted into a purring puddle against my chest, and I knew how he felt._

_Astrid sat in the chair by the door and kept an eye out for my doctor while Toothless and I caught up in some much needed cuddling. Astrid mentioned something about Toothless being a 'whiny bitch' and needed to come see me before he jumped out of my window but I was too distract because Toothless was trying to rub his face against mine, but the cone kept smacking me._

_It was nice laying in bed with Toothless, I had almost forgot how comforting his purrs was when he was curled up on your shoulder, and I almost fell asleep as I stroked Toothless' back but Astrid started talking about Snotlout, Fishlegs and the Twins; Fishlegs' parent surprised him with a 2 weeks long trip to his grandparents, Snotlout's dad was taking him on a 'manly' camping trip for a while and the Twins had left on a road trip and wouldn't be back for a month. I asked Astrid if she had any plans and apparently she was going to some sort of sports camp. I was pretty happy for her because that sounded like her sort of thing, but she looked sad, and told me she tried to cancel so she could be here with me but they won't refund._

_I told her I was perfectly happy where I was and that she should be happy to go, but she didn't look too sure. Astrid left an hour later with Toothless when a nurse came in, to busy rattling about with tubes of pills to notice Astrid's frantic reach for Toothless. She yanked him away, giving me an apologetic smile before ducking out of the room._

_I chocked down the numerous bitter pills I had to take daily, before the nurse settled my bed back flat, instructing me to sleep. When he left I flicked on the TV and watched trashy sitcoms until dinner._

**I ordered a pizza 3 hours again and it's still not here smh**

**Thank you midnightsky0612 and One Bright Light**

**~LMDR**


	5. June 13th

_**13**__**th**__** June,**_

_I had my first meeting with my physical therapist and I was quite nervous, but also a little excited to be able to get back on my feet and get at out bed, even if I wasn't necessary on my _own _two feet. Besides, I wasn't going to be doing any actual physical stuff since my stitches were still healing, but I was still going to get a leg! That's something? _

_I was no longer excited as one of the nurses wheeled me across the hospital to my therapist's office, and this was because of all the stares I received. I didn't think I would get that much attention, I never did before the accident, but I supposed that was just wishful, or foolish, thinking. I couldn't help but imagine what I looked like; a malnourished shrimp of a boy, pale and scared with a missing limp. I wanted to go back to him room and hide in shame._

_My physical therapist however, was pretty nice. His name was Eret, as far as I was aware, because he didn't tell me his last name. He was a hulking man with what looked like tribal tattoos on his oversized chin, and wore comfortable work clothes that gave him some professionalism. He jumped from his desk when I was wheeled into his office, and greeted me with a bright smile._

_I felt a little comfortable around him because he didn't ask about my leg, or not right away at least, but instead asked me about school, and my hobbies and friends. It was nice talking about things besides my leg, because when I talked about it all I could think of was the throbbing ache that left me gasping and shaking. We eventually started talking about it and the prosthetic I was going to have. He said that all the cool kids had them, and I quickly learned that he was a terrible jokester._

_He told me to roll up my sweatpants, and when I did he kneeled down in front of me and began to poke at my skin and eye my scars of what remand of my bony stump. After a few tense and uneasy moments he stood up grinning. Apparently I was healing quickly, and would be able to get measured now. I didn't feel comfortable with him focusing on my stump, but I bite my tongue and I nodded anyways and looked out his office window as he worked._

_Outside there was an ice cream trucked across the street, children crowded around it as parents brought them tricks. I never realized there was a little park across the street, and felt disappointed with the fact my window only gave me a stunning view of a parking lot. It was odd though, seeing the world like this. My room was so white and lack so much colour that the bright greens of the trees and blues of the sky made me squint. I didn't realize I was being wheeled back to my room until Eret patted my shoulder and said I'll be okay._

**I'm going to a party today which means social interaction wish me look ah**

_**Huge amount of love to **_**midnightsky0612, One Bright Light and Frostystuffs!**

_**~LMDR**_


	6. June 20th

**_20th June,_**

I just got back from my physical therapy session today and I feel like I was dropped of a 10 story building. Eret says it would take a while to get used to wearing a prosthetic and moving around, but I'm starting to feel restless now, I'm tired of lying in bed all day with a foot missing while Astrid, Toothless, and my dad are somewhere else doing something I don't know.

I've been texting Astrid a lot lately, but she hasn't finished up with her sports yet, so I can only really talk to her at lunch or at night, but by then I can barely lift a finger. I'm getting lazy in this bed. She still sends me regular photos of Toothless though; he's fur is growing back slowly and he looks like he's putting on some weight. I told Astrid not to treat him too much but she denies everything, but I know Toothless got to her with his stupid cat face. Not even she can resist it.

The doctor mentioned he might down my dosage and I don't care. I'm not the biggest fan of pain but I can't stand being off my head on drugs. I knocked my stump the other day when the nurse took me on a 'stroll' outside and they upped my dosage for the night to stop the pain, and when the nurse came in to give me dinner I must have said something stupid, because he smirks whenever he sees me now.

Fishlegs has been playing a lot of D&amp;D and World of Warcraft, but that's not surprising, and that's the only thing he talks about now. I think he's still uneasy around me because he never visits, all he does is text and call now. I don't blame him though. He's lucky he doesn't have to be here.

Dad said the police are investigating the house since we have no idea what caused the fire. I thought it was a busted gas pipe or something but the police think it could be arson. Who would want to set our house on fire with us inside?

Apparently Dad moved in with Gobber, and if the insurance doesn't come in soon it looks like I will be too when I get out of here.

I can't wait to leave to be honest; I hate how white these rooms are, not to mention the overly power sterilized smell. Sometimes I can't sleep because of it, like it's chocking me and I can't breathe and I have to close my eyes and pretend I'm back in my room and that heavy weight on my chest is just Toothless. I think I'm just overacting, or homesick, or both, I don't know. I just want to go home either way.

**I finished my A levels I'm officially done with school and I'm so tired but so happy yaaaay**


	7. June 21st

**_21st June,_**

Astrid came over today with pizza from my favourite place. It was still warm too because she sprinted over. I think she's still feeling guilty about everything that happened, I told her I'm not upset about us not hanging out that much in the past few years but she didn't buy it. It did hurt when she started to hang out with Snotlout and the Twins and Fish, especially when she started doing all those extra school sports and didn't have time for me anymore. I really did miss hanging out with her back then but there's nothing to be done about it now. Besides, she's here now, I'm grateful for that.

She talked about Toothless and how well he and Stormfly were getting on and I'm really happy to hear that. Toothless always enjoyed being around Stormfly so I'm glad that he has someone to cheer him up.

I would have eaten the entire pizza if the Doctor didn't walk in on us. He made Astrid leave, taking the rest of the pizza with her while scolding me on eating a healthy diet while recovering. Apparently pizza isn't on the list on what I could eat, like my life couldn't get any better.

He told me to sit back and relax while he checked my stump. He fixed my dosage slightly so I didn't really feel a thing, but I could still feel it throb at every point and yab. He muttered to himself through it all, scribbling down some note on the clipboard at the end of my bed before he stood up. My cuts were now healed and my skin wasn't as sensitive as before, so I could get an actual prosthetic measured any day now.

He also booked me for another appointment with Eret down in the gym. I don't like doing the exercises, I feel like I'm helpless, laying on the ground with someone helping me bring my knees to my chest and then back down again. On my back struggling to lift my leg while a bunch of other amputees are struggling around me reminds me how different I am now. I hate feeling so useless and weak.


	8. June 23rd

**_23rd June,_**

I've been struggling to sleep properly for the past few days, which wouldn't be the worst thing if it wasn't for the nurses waking me up every time I drifted to sleep during the day. I can't sleep at night; I either feel too hot, or too cold, or the bed is suddenly too lumpy or too soft, and when I _can _sleep it's during the day, but the nurses always come and wake me up so that I stay to a _'strict schedule'_. Apparently it's not just my food they're watching over.

I told my nurse about it, maybe hoping they would up my dosage so I could get some sleep but all I got was a sympathy smile. She said I should tell my therapist about it.

I don't really what to talk to my therapist though, I was never really good at opening up, but after everything that's happened I feel like there's a wall stopping me from saying anything. But that's the point of this journal. I write it down and my therapist read it. We never have to meet and deal with my overbearing awkwardness.

Anyways, I was getting ready for bed after the nurse came in to check one my for the last time when dad came in. He almost scared me half to death because the room was pitch black and he can be quite when he wants to be!

Apparently he called the hospital earlier to see how I was doing, and wanted to see me himself when he heard about my sleep issue. He said he was worried and apologized for being so all over the place lately. The police wanted to give up the investigation, but dad says they can't; he wants justice for everything that's happened, so he's been busy.

He talked about Gobber and moving in and about everything that we could save –surprisingly we managed to salvage quite a lot of our stuff from the living room, study, my dad's room, ect (my room, the kitchen and the garage had the worst impact, but I already knew that about my bedroom). I ended up drifting to sleep at one point, and when I woke up a few hours later it was dark and my dad was gone. I felt a little down that I finally got to sleep when my dad was visiting, but then I noticed I was feeling too hot and sat up.

There was a blanket on me made from thick scratchy wool and had a smoky scent, but it also smelled old, similar to the smell of our damp attic. It took a while but I realized it was a blanket mom made for me when I was little. It was uneven and the threads were coming out and defiantly wasn't in its best condition, but I didn't care. I manage to get a few more hours of sleep after that, which was nice.


	9. August 2nd

**_August 2nd,_**

_It's been awhile since I last wrote in here, but life has been pretty hectic the past couple of weeks._

_I guess the best place to start is physically therapy; Eret said he was impressed with how fast I got used to putting pressure on, well, my stump, and suggested trying out some practice prosthetics soon. We did; it was weird and uncomfortable, it took me awhile to get used to it, but I did, and Eret said that was 'very good news'._

_A couple of days later, when Astrid had come with Snotlout and a pack of cards, Eret come in to tell me he talked to my doctor. I was worried, but I didn't have to be, because apparently my good progress in PT meant that I could go home soon. Astrid hugged me (along with a 'soft' punch), and Snotlout seemed happy, but he said it was because he didn't want to help feed my 'devil cat' anymore._

_When they left, dad and Gobber come by, my doctor must of called, because dad had me in a death grip the moment he stepped through the door. He was happier than I had ever seen him since the fire, probably because the police had called the fire accidental, and the case was closed, meaning the insurance had come in. Dad said it'll take a week or two to get everything fixed, and a couple of days to replace everything that was destroyed, but he didn't seem to dwell on that fact. Meaning everything could 'go back to normal'._

_Exactly 5 days later (I counted every hour 'til the day) I was officially discharged from the hospital. It was early morning, so Astrid had lacrosse practice and Fishlegs was spending some quality time with his family, so they sent me a bunch of messages saying they would all come see me first thing in the afternoon._

_The house looked pretty good; but you could tell what had to be replaced because the side of the house where the kitchen and my bedroom looked brand new with it's fresh coat of paint. A big chuck of grass had been pulled up too, and a good part of the garden was died from the fire. I felt bad for mom's garden, but she had said that fire was sometimes good for plants, it gave way to new life._

_Inside was almost as I remember it; dad had Gobber's help with replacing everything, so the house was practically the same. The only major difference was my room. Instead of being upstairs above the kitchen, it was at the opposite side of the house, on the first floor underneath my father's room. It was been a sort of spare bedroom that was never used (it was mostly filled with mom's stuff, but now it was my room. It was like my old one, with the same (but new) furniture and decorations, but some things were different. There was a new laptop on my desk, along with five different types of sketchbooks and new pencils. My wardrobe was empty too, but with the exception of a few pairs of clothes. It made me realized I lost more than my leg in the fire, but It was nice of dad to replace everything that was gone._

_Gobber said we were going to go shopping for clothes tomorrow, since I probably wouldn't have wanted them to pick them all out._

_Something I noticed was a metal bar by the side of my bed, matching the ones that were in the shower in my bedroom's bathroom. It reminded me of the one in PT, and I doubted I would need it, but I guess it's was the thought that counts._

_The gang came around noon and it was surprisingly fun (though I could have done without the twins and Snotlout's feet/foot jokes). They stayed for dinner (oh how I missed queasy takeout) before having to leave before it got too late_

_Before he left, Fishlegs asked me if I would be in school next year, but my dad beat me to it, saying "We'll see"._

_My therapist says I should take it easy, but I've been trapped in either a wheelchair or a bed for forever, and I'm starting to get 'antsy' as Gobber puts it. Luckily I had my measurements done a while ago, so it will be only a matter of time 'till I get back on my two feet again._

_In the meantime, I can live with being stuck in a wheelchair for a little while longer, it lets Toothless spend all day on my lap. I forgot how needy he can be._

**A quick thing while i was waiting for my plane to arrive (Delays suck)**

**LMDR**


	10. August 13th

_August 13__th__,_

_Fishlegs continues to bring round video games and board games to keep me from going mad, which was nice at the beginning, but now I can't get his voice out of my head. I forgot how much he could talk when he gets excited. On the bright side, I've gotten a lot better at monopoly, but no one can beat Fish in scrabble._

_He normally comes by at 2 and stays until 6 which meant he would often join me for dinner (Takeaways, takeaways and more takeaways), but today he was supposed to have dinner with his family so he left at 4, which meant I was home alone til 7. Dad had left some money by the door so we could order some food for dinner, but since Fishlegs had left early and I had gotten my fill of pizza and Chinese takeout, I decided to make my own dinner._

_I've gotten a lot better at using a wheelchair Though I'm surprise Toothless hasn't run away with the amount of times I've run over what's left of his tail) and raided the kitchen. Dad usually picked at whenever I couldn't eat since I have a small appetite and since he wasn't a natural cook, the kitchen didn't have much._

_It took me while (I had to eventually get out of my chair and just hop around the kitchen) but I made myself an omelette with whatever we had left in the fridge (Cheese and Mushroom yum)._

_I ate it in front of the TV; Mythbusters was having a marathon and I hadn't seen a lot of them. I fell asleep not long after, and sleep through most of the episodes, which sucked because I was actually enjoying the marathon._

_Dad scolded me for cooking dinner but it was worth it, and dad hasn't yelled at me for a while, so it wasn't too bad. He joined me on the sofa after making himself a sandwich (or twelve) for dinner before nagging me to go to bed; I guess some things never change._

_I wasn't feeling tired (it was only 10 after all) so I decided to bust out the old journal. My therapist says I should try and write in this more often but it's easy to forgot about something like this, especially when my mind's on other things._

_Besides, we started talking about other things, and it's a lot easier to talk about my feelings and everything else. We're supposed to talk about my mom in our next session, which will be….fun._


	11. August 25th

_**August 25th,**_

_I've been using this book for a lot of designs and notes instead of actually writing down my feelings or whatever, but I don't think my therapist minds, they don't ask to read it anymore, only just glancing at it while we talk. I think that's because I'm a lot more comfortable talking to them, maybe it's because I know they won't repeat what I said(Dad's been bugging them about how I'm doing), or they share some of their problems too, it makes it a lot easier to be open._

_I've also started talking to Astrid a lot too, mostly online or texting, sometimes she asks me about what I talk about with my therapist, and sometimes I tell her. She genially seems happy when I open up to her. Now that it's late into the summer she doesn't have practice anymore, meaning all of her teammates are busy on vacations or with their other friends. She likes to talk to me because I'm 'a sarcastic shit', which is true._

_Sometimes we skype, and somethings Fishlegs can skype with us. I don't really remember what we talk about a lot of the time, but our calls last for hours, to the point where dad sometimes has to come into my room and take my laptop away because I 'need my rest'. At least he lets me go to be past 10 now._

_Astrid recently asked me to go see a new movie; I don't know what it is, but she seems really excited, but doesn't want to go by herself (Plus she said she wanted to hang out with me in person!) I said yes as cool as I could be (I was a mess) and we're gonna see a movie this weekend! I can't wait!_

_I'm still waiting on my prosthetic, but once it's finished Eret said I could put it on and start walking slowly! In the meantime I'll just have to my chair._

_I hope the cinema has wheelchair access…_


	12. September 26th

_**September 26t**__**h**_

_School started last week, and even though Astrid has been coming over every afternoon to see me, I'm already bored out of my mind. I thought when I got my leg I could go back to school with everyone else, but instead I'm stuck at home watching trashy TV until Astrid visits me._

_She was almost as excited as I was when I got my leg, and even though she keep telling me to be careful, she let me drag her out whenever I could. I felt like I've been locked away from the world until I got my new leg! It's still sore though, but Eret says that I just need to slow down and not rush, which is ridicules; how can I slow down when I can walk! Well…stumble, but still!_

_Even though I have a stick to help me, Astrid still holds onto my free arm so I don't fall over, which has only happen 3 times this week, which, compared to last few weeks (I did more falling than walking) is a great improvement._

_We're been going to the park lately, there a lot of benches around so if I get tired I can just sit down and take a breather, Astrid doesn't say anything, which is nice. The last time we went to the park my stump wasn't arching as much as it usually does, so we walked right through the park and got some ice cream. When we got back to my house, Astrid keep jabbing me in the arm and scolding me for staining myself, but thanked me for a 'pretty okay date' and then kissed me. Every time she does that I just want to melt._

_I wouldn't say we're dating, or that we're boyfriend and girlfriend. It's just…really casual, which is suppose is nice right now. Maybe when I can finally go back to school and be normal again it can become something more? I don't know…_

_Man I hope Astrid doesn't find this book._

**_.._**

**…**

**…_._**

_**I graduated school my fams...**_


End file.
